Turning Point
Michelle Marie and Me
My Grandma Birdie and Grandma Chloe planted in my soul, the precious seeds of the Love of Jesus. Sometimes I kept the seeds in the dark, sometimes I gave them light, and sometimes I even watered and nurtured them! It wasn’t I met Michelle Wise at Toastmasters, that I turned from living in the world, to living as a Believer. I’ll explain.
As a kid, I was always sick – usually with a cold. I was always unhappy. As a teen, at night I would stare at the moon out my bedroom window and cry; I wanted to be loved.
My Grandmas would hug me and remind me that Jesus loves me – He wants the best for me – talk with Him and He will guide me through it. (Grandma Birdie died when I was 13.)
I dropped out of college during my sophomore year. I lived at home. I was to marry my college sweetheart before his senior year. He was spouse #1. I was a basket case. I remember going to the doctor a lot. I was taking Valium; I demanded that he give me more Valium! I don’t know why I was such a mess.
Grandma Chloe would talk with me about loving my husband, but keeping Jesus first.
#1 was Lutheran; we wanted to be married in the church; I enjoyed Catechism. I went to church regularly but I didn’t develop a solid commitment to Christ. I was a virgin on my wedding night. #1 wouldn’t go to church, so I stopped, too.
I buried the seed; I had tried, but it didn’t mean much to me. (Grandma Chloe had a debilitating stroke and couldn’t talk with me anymore.)
#1 and I joined a bowling league. He was always so happy to bowl. I was sure that he was “fooling around” so…I did, too…once…for retaliation.
What have I done? Now I’ve ruined things with Jesus!
After the divorce, promiscuity was my entertainment. There were plenty of short-term steadies, lots of one-night stands. I seduced two different married men.
It’s okay, Grandma. Jesus wouldn’t want me any more anyway.
During this period I was a wreck – this time without Valium. I was sick all the time. I was always unhappy. My mantra was: “I am right and you are not!” One of the women at work once said, “Boy Lynne, you’re pretty hard to take some times.”
I remembered Grandma saying “Be Ye Kind – three little words that make a BIG difference.”
Spouse #2 was three years after the divorce; he was in a hurry to settle down; moved into MY house. Our wedding was in the same church in which I married Spouse #1. Really!?!
At one point, I went to work with a black eye, chipped tooth and cut lip. I had “tripped over his shoes…” He started “working late” — a lot. One night I drove around to find him. He had a passenger. We each got out into the street; I yelled and screamed – at a safe distance. He moved out of my house. I consoled myself with promiscuity.
What would Grandma say? I had been the first divorce in the family; now I had my second! Jesus won’t want me now!
One day at work I had an epiphany! I hated me – my thoughts, my behavior, my attitude, etc. I hated being sick, late to work, and revolving bed partners! I decided that I didn’t have to be that way – I could change!!
Grandma’s seeds were working! Now, I’m convinced that Holy Spirit started shining light on those seeds!!
The “new me” was transferred by my company to a new subsidiary in Colorado; a chance at a new start! I bought a house, made new friends, and found a church where I made friends with an older couple who helped me get involved – choir, Sunday School, pancake breakfasts.
BUT — I was living “on the fence” – in the world and in The Faith. I became promiscuous again; even became engaged – until I dropped in at his apartment while he was speaking sweet somethings into the telephone. Why did I give back that beautiful ring?? On the other hand, the “church ladies” gossiped – about everyone and everything – even the vicar who wore cowboy boots and had too many kids! I couldn’t take it; I dropped out – left the church behind. I wasn’t fit for God anyway.
I “put Him on the highest shelf in my closet” – so I didn’t see Him.
Colorado life lasted six years; the subsidiary closed; I was transferred back to my home state of Michigan — given a job at a plant that closed a few months later. I went back to college. Same college – different man — #3. He, his wife and I had one class together; we formed a study group of non-traditional students. His wife soon dropped out of school; #3 and I began dating — then…having sex.
After two years it was time to graduate. I let him move into MY house. While living together, I sold my house and we moved to another city, with better job opportunities. We moved from a liberal city to a conservative city. It was like night and day; we were happier; life was better; we were married.
I still kept God on the highest shelf in the closet as we moved. Who was I to think Jesus could still love me!
By the late 1990s I would walk into work with a mantra. “I am nice — kind, patient, pleasant, understanding, and accepting rather than judging.” I parked so far away from the building I could say it twice.
In late 2000, one of the plant managers asked my coworker if he would like to go to Toastmasters. My coworker said “no”. I popped up over the cubical and said, “I’d like to go”. I visited the club and was “hooked”. I found the perfect Club for me in 2001.
We had Project Manuals, from which we gave speeches on the topic of our choice, stressing a different skill in each project. A young business woman, Michelle Wise, joined our Club in 2003. As she worked through the manual of ten speeches, she chose Jesus as her topic. One Jesus speech after another! I didn’t want to hear about Jesus!! At Toastmasters, we listen for structure, content and delivery – not topic. We have to listen and provide the speaker with a quality evaluation.
She spoke with passion and sincerity. Then one meeting she was Topic Master. Table Topics is a meeting segment in which we practice “thinking on your feet”. The Topic Master asks a different question of each speaker. She asked me a Jesus question. I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard what I was saying! I was talking as if I knew Jesus. Looking back, it’s almost as if I was repeating things that my Grandmas had told me.
That was my true Turning Point! I’ve been Turning Toward Jesus ever since. I realized that Michelle had gotten through to me! I wanted to know more about Jesus. I wanted to know Him more!! From then on, Michelle Mentored Me to Living in The Love of Our Lord. She had me watching Joyce Meyer on TV. We went to Joyce Meyer conferences together. I began reading books and devotionals by Joyce, and then others. I received Jesus as my Savior. I joined Michelle’s church, I was baptized, and now…I’m giving Jesus speeches!!
I have daily God Time. I talk to Holy Spirit throughout the day. The Lord has saved me from death twice. I continue to grow closer to Jesus. It all began with my Grannies. Those two sweet women took me into their arms and made sure that I knew that Jesus loves me – and always will. I’m full of inexpressible JOY – The JOY of Jesus!! I share bits and pieces of it with you in this blog.
I thank The Lord for my friend, Michelle, whom I love like a daughter and as a Sister in Christ. Michelle lives a dramatic difference in her Life With Our Lord. Her Turning Point Testimony gave her the love to guide me, and many others, to God. Listen to Michelle’s powerful testimony. God Bless You. Testimony Salvation and healing from fibromyalgia
7/23/20